5 Strategies to Help You Navigate Change and Uncertainty

I sent my youngest off to 5th grade today.  Middle School.  As I revel in the silence that takes over the house on the first day of school, I also sit on the porch wistfully.  Down the road I hear children playing at the nearby schoolhouse.  All 3 of my children went to this one-room schoolhouse (the last one in VT) until they aged out in 3rd grade.  The teacher still signals the end of recess by pulling the rope that rings the school bell!  Listening to the bells brings me back to a simpler time.  The nostalgia swirls around me as I sit here with my cuppa hot tea...my childhood, our 3 children growing up…it’s easy to get lost in this “feel-good” feeling.

I like to think I embrace change.  Maybe not always with open arms, because it can definitely be hard.  I consider myself open-minded to experiencing new things, I love learning and growing.  I definitely have a growth mindset.   Having said all that, I also can be a creature of habit and I like feeling secure in knowing what to expect.

This duality of “comfort-zone” versus change is one we all have to navigate throughout our lives.  As I blaze a new path for myself in Health & Wellness Coaching I have had to catapult out of my comfort zone and put myself out on a cliff (and sometimes jump off into the unknown!).  The uncertainty can be terrifying---but also exhilarating!  

Though I am not an expert at surfing the waves of change, I have become more able to balance on the surfboard!  I realize change is inevitable and you can either let it swallow you up or ride the wave.  

The following are some strategies that I have used to navigate the seas of change:

  1. Bring It Back Home

    It’s easy to feel out of whack when there is change in our lives.  It feels like the ground is shaking and there’s nothing to hold on to.  During uncertainty, take the time to step back and reconnect to your inner self and what makes you tick. What are the values you live by?  What is important to you?  What makes you authentically you?  Then take this beacon of reconnection and let it guide you through the tunnel and out the other side.

  2. Emotions Happen

    Oftentimes our initial response is to pull back and shut down in fear.  Acknowledge these feelings, but don’t let them swallow us whole and spit us back out in tatters.  Dr. Mark Brackett, Ph.D., is the Founder and Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a Professor in the Child Study Center of Yale University. He is the lead developer of RULER, an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning.  Brackett recommends using the RULER method for processing our emotions.  RULER is an acronym for:   “Recognizing emotions in oneself and others; Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions; Labeling emotions with a nuanced vocabulary; Expressing emotions in accordance with cultural norms and social context; and Regulating emotions with helpful strategies”.  In other words, allow ourselves to work through these emotions, without sweeping them under the rug.  

  3. Nothing Lasts Forever, Neither Good Nor Bad

    The only thing that’s permanent is impermanence.  Just reminding ourselves of this when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan can often be enough to get us through.  Likewise, It can also help us to savor the moments of peace and tranquility when we get those too.  

  4. It’s All About Perspective

    This can be hard to talk about without sounding too “Pollyanna-ish”, but I’ll try.  Sometimes it can be helpful to zoom out and take a look at the big picture. How does it look from a differerent perspective? Where can we find silver linings?  What can we learn from this change?  How can we grow from this experience?  According to Harvard Health Publishing, “an optimistic outlook can positively impact overall health and longevity.  Research tells us that an optimistic outlook early in life can predict better health and a lower rate of death during follow-up periods of 15 to 40 years.”  That’s gotta count for something.

  5. Take “Micro-Steps”

    What is your goal at the end of this tunnel of change?  How do you want to feel when you get there?  What is your vision for how you want this to go?  Establishing a clear vision, setting a goal,  and then breaking it down into the smallest steps can be less overwhelming and help us to achieve greater success towards our vision.  Success doesn’t happen overnight.  

Tomorrow I will be sending my oldest off for his 1st day of his last year of high school.  Senior year.  Sigh.  This year will be filled with lots of “lasts” of his high school career.  I am slowly starting the process of “letting go” as he begins the college application process.  I can already feel my heart aching as I think about him leaving home.  Mixed with these emotions is excitement for him and all of the “firsts” yet to come into his life.  

Change and uncertainty are inevitable. It’s how we handle the change and uncertainty that is within our control. We get to choose. For me, I will try to gracefully allow all of the emotions to come and go on the waves of change.

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