Prioritizing Self-Care So You Can Fill Your Cup and Nourish Your Soul
“Taking care of myself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.”
Self-care—the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
If you think about your physical, mental, and emotional storage like a battery, the battery (you) will eventually become drained and lifeless unless it (you) gets recharged. You can also think about this in terms of a cup brimming full (pick your favorite warm and comforting beverage). Little by little, the liquid gets poured out and if it doesn’t get refilled, the cup (you) becomes empty. In order to keep your physical, mental, and emotional storage full, you need to keep charging the battery, filling the cup. At the end of a long day, after giving to your spouse/children/family, your employer, your community, your neighbors, and your friends, what do you have left to give yourself?
The world we live in is busy, no doubt about it. Being busy seems to be a badge of honor that many of us wear with pride. I know that feeling, I have worn the badge before. For me, being busy and running around checking things off my to-do list gives me a sense of accomplishment and validates my existence in some way. Within these busy days we sign ourselves up for multiple obligations, give up our time to various undertakings, and unrealistically commit the hours we have in a day. All of this comes at the expense of our sanity, our sleep, and our overall well-being, thus leading to burnout and an empty cup.
When your cup is empty, your resilience to daily stressors and your ability to cope with these stressors becomes compromised. The following are some strategies for building self-care into your daily life, not only for your own wellness, but for everyone around you as well.
Determine What Fills Your Cup
What nourishes you, either physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or socially? As was discussed in this earlier blog post, all these domains of our health and wellness are interconnected. I remember when my kids were younger and just getting my teeth brushed and a shower in the morning was an act of self-care! Now that my kiddos are older, I take those activities for granted (but still appreciate them!). Now, going for a hike or going to a yoga class or reading a book or taking a class all ignite a spark in me, which tells me I’m meeting my self-care needs and filling my cup. Everyone’s needs are different, each of us fulfilled in different ways. What ignites a spark inside of you? How do you fill your cup?
Make Your Self-Care a Priority
Making the time for your own self-care is not a selfish act. It’s the whole “oxygen on an airplane” analogy, where you are instructed to put your own oxygen masks on first, before putting it on your child. Unfortunately, self-care is often seen as a luxury and not as a necessity. We think we can’t afford to take the time away from our busy schedules to do something for ourselves. Dr. Sukhraj Dhillon states, “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes each day—unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour”. Self-care is the same way. If you “don’t have the time” to prioritize your need for self-care, you probably need it more than ever. If it feels too indulgent to justify taking some down-time, start really small. How can you carve out even just a few minutes to do something that fills your cup? Then gradually start adding these small gestures of kindness to yourself into our day, multiple times, throughout each day.
Shift Your Mindset
Self-care does not have to be a lavish bubble bath, a spa day complete with massage, or buying yourself fancy gifts (although these are all lovely!). Acts of self-care can easily be free, therefore making them more sustainable to do daily. What are some small things you can factor into your day to keep you energized, fulfilled, and complete? Taking care of yourself necessitates taking care of others and being a productive human being. This shift in mindset does not happen overnight, however it can be cultivated through repetition and seeing the positive benefits on your well-being. The more you practice random acts of kindness, self-care, and compassion to yourself, the more natural and habitual it becomes.
Start Each Day With a Full Cup (and Keep it Full Throughout the Day)
Getting quality sleep is one sure-fire way to start your day on the right foot. Good sleep is an act of self-care that can have a compounding effect on your day. It starts with a bed-time routine that is conducive to good sleep and leads to a morning routine that sets you up for success. Planning your day in advance can give you an edge when it comes to meeting your self-care needs and ensuring that your cup can get filled throughout the day. Enjoying that morning cup of coffee in solitude before the kids wake up, taking a few minutes to go outside for a walk for fresh air during the lunch break, getting up from the computer once or twice per hour to stretch, taking the time to have a healthy snack and hydrate during the day….all ways to keep the cup full so later in the day you have the mental capacity to get through the evening hours and get a good nights sleep. Full circle.
Just Say No
Sometimes the hardest thing to say is “no”. People-pleasing and FOMO are both very real conditions that are hard not to succumb to. We all want to be helpful when we can be and no one likes to miss out on things, but often saying “yes” to everything leads to an empty cup, and we all know you can’t pour from an empty cup. At times like this it can be beneficial to take a step back and review your values. Ask yourself: Is this important to me? What is it about this that’s important to me? How will this make me feel if I say “yes”? How will this make me feel if I say “no”. Taking the time to explore your values before you say “yes” or “no” to something allows you to decide if it’s truly important to you. Being honest with yourself will feel good and being honest with others earns their respect.
Show Yourself Some Compassion
Think about what you would say to your friend or family member if you watched him or her run themselves ragged, burn the candle at both ends, or were always pushing themselves to the point of exhaustion. You would probably offer them support and kind words, encourage them to take care of themselves, take them out for lunch, offer to watch their kids for a couple hours, and overall show them gentleness and compassion. If you can show yourself the same level of kindness and understanding that you share with your friends and family, then you’re on the path to caring for yourself like you deserve.
Taking time out of your day to focus on your own wellness needs can feel challenging and counterintuitive when there are so many other things on your to-do list, but over time the benefits will begin to speak for themselves. After awhile, you will begin to feel more refreshed, energized, valued…and believe it or not you may end up being more productive too.
What is one small self-care gesture you can give yourself in the next hour to get the ball rolling?
